“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” She shrugs. “He’s made a few friends before but…well, they never really stuck around. …I think, part of the reason, might be that he’s convinced himself that every time he befriends someone that they’ll just up and leave.”
To be honest, Louis herself had the same thoughts about friendship, though she had a healthier, less destructive way of handling abandonment. That is if you think clinging obsessively to the few friends you have to be handling abandonment in a ‘healthy’ way.
“It was nice talking to you, but it’s getting kind of late.” She stands and hands the kitten that had previously been in her lap over to her RED counterpart. “I guess I’ll see you around base?” Without waiting she heads off to the door to go and do Louis things.
In response, Michael gives a solemn nod of understanding at that. It was only natural for someone to feel that way if they were treated to disappointments such as that. Sometimes the RED wondered himself why he even bothered to attempt keeping colleagues knowing damn well that if they didn’t leave on their own than it would be him calling their time of death. Perhaps it was a bit morbid to think of it that way, but then, as mentioned, it was only natural for those treated to constant disappointments.
“Ja, I still have much to do if I am to be ready for vhen zhe battles start.” With a polite nod, he takes the ball of fluff from his counterpart, holding it in his arms since his lap was currently occupied by another. “Danke for keeping me company for so long, Herr Louis. Let us hope zhat zhe next time ve see each ozher vill be just as pleasant.” Yes, he was accustomed to disappointments as well, but for some reason he felt good about this one.
The cat in her lap was proving to be a more than sufficient distraction for Louis to miss the silence. She glances up and nods in response to the question.
“Yeah, him and I get along most of the time, but he’s difficult around most people and sometimes there’s nothing I can really do to ease the tension or negative feelings caused…” She shrugs. “Being alone gets boring sometimes though, like…I understand when people like to be alone for long spans of time, but then…” Another shrug as she struggles to explain what she means. “I guess people have different preferences in their amounts of social interaction.”
Michael also nods as Louis explains, knowing all too well the difficulties of having a socially awkward sibling. It was pretty much impossible now to ever clear up the tension between Noah and the rest of their family.
“Ja, I see vhat you mean. It is at least nice to know zhere is somevone around to talk to if need be. Zhat it vhy I vas glad to hear zhat Noah had made a friend. He might be stubborn und close himself up, but I know he gets lonely sometimes.” Though, in a sense, Michael could be the same way at times. Just recently transferring to a new base didn’t make it any easier, either, but at least it appeared he was making a new friend. “I take it your Bruder is razher poor at making friends as vell?”
“Yeah… that wouldn’t be good.”
Louis focuses her attention back to the cat during the pause, unsure what to say now, but not really feeling awkward about it. She looks back up at him when he resumes speaking on the subject of his older sibling.
“I guess I know what you mean, in a way. Don’t worry about it, it didn’t really sound as rude as you think.”
When asked about Alois she shrugs and tries to tell as close to the truth as she can. It was easy to refer to the young vampire as her brother, because that was a normal and simple explanation. The minute his origins and ‘fangy issues’ came up be became less of a person and more of a thing. It didn’t feel right, to Louis at least, for anyone to be treated like that so she did her best to create some believable imitation of normalcy.
“Mine is…well, he’s kind of really…I guess you could say he has some behavioral issues and…” She frowns and tries to think of more positive things. “He means well, but he’s not the easiest person to get along with and he doesn’t have an easy time with people.” Okay, that still sounded bad. “I mean…Well…” And that pretty much summed it up, didn’t it?
A moment of silence passes between the two of them as Michael nods, slightly relieved he had’t come off as rude or purposely bullying. The two siblings bickered every now and then, but out of no true ill intent. At a glance, one might think the two actually hated each other, so it was nice to know that Louis understood that wasn’t the case.
As Louis attempts to explain the type of person her own brother was, or at least that’s how Michael view their relationship, the older Medic nods, seeming to understand. In a way it sounded a bit like Noah, or the Sniper had gotten better at attempting to at least come off as friendly over the past few years. Before, people were lucky to get a snort out of him.
“I see. It seems ve both suffer from troublesome siblings.” There’s a bit of humour in his voice, seeming slightly pleased with this fact. It was nice to know he was not alone. “Not all of us can be so charimatic, I suppose. I myself enjoy my alone time every vonce in a vhile. I vorry about mein Bruder, but honestly, he seems to get on fine.”
There’s a pause as he runs a hand over Lilo’s fur, thinking this over. “Zhe two of you have a good enough relationship at least, ja? Your Bruder und you, I mean.”
“He really hasn’t come across as the stalking type. That and I doubt it would go over well with Jamie if someone was stalking him. He’s jumpy at times.”
Louis looks up and quirks a brow while giving a small, amused smile. People snapping wasn’t too unusual, in her experience, but dealing with it depended on the person and Louis wasn’t actually a therapist.
“Hm, he doesn’t seem that sociable of a person.”
She shrugs, having no background knowledge of their relationship and whether Noah was always like that or what was different now.
“At least you’re both close enough to talk now and everything.”
“Ah, gud. I vould not vant him terrorizing your team.”
There’s a pause, before Michael clears his throat, drumming his fingers through the feline in his lap’s fur as he looks back on their conversation. Most of what he was saying could be viewed as good humour, or even simple sibling rivalry, though a part of him felt he should clarify.
“I apologize, I do not mean to come off as rude. I vorry about him, is all, since I know how he can be at times.”
There were things about Noah that the younger sibling knew that most did not, seeing as he was one of the only people who hadn’t been either pushed out of or willing walked out of his life, even if the Sniper rarely kept in touch.
“Ve have a bit of a complicated relationship, so to speak, zhough I suppose everyone does. How is it vith you brother, if zhat is not too personal?”
“Yeah, it looks like he’s getting along well with others. He spends most of his time with one of our Spies though.”
With her thoughts drifting away from unhappy feelings she moves to pet at the small, fluffy creature in her lap. Cats always made her happy even when she wasn’t feeling all that well after certain memories were brought back.
“I’m going to assume that you two talking is an improvement?”
Carefully, so not to disturb the cat, Louis scratches behind her ears and smooths out the white fur around them.
“That makes enough sense, in a way.”
It was almost refreshing to have something stated in plain English without a bunch of abstract thoughts and similes used to get the point across. Not that there was anything wrong with that, since somethings were too complex to explain in plain English and the imagery invoked was helpful…
Is zhat so? Vell at least it sounds like he has a friend, zhen, unless he’s turned into a stalker vithout me knowing it.
*Michael wouldn’t doubt if that were actually the case, always figuring his brother must be suffering from some sort of mental disorder and it wouldn’t be long until he snapped. Well, snapped again.*
I vould say so, ja. Ve get along better zhen ve have in previous years, but it is still hard to get a letter or phone call out of zhat boy.
*It almost sounded like Michael was the older sibling here. With an impassive huff, he dismisses his lewd brother and turns his attention back to Louis.* I apologize if zhat is not much help. I am sure you vill figure out zhe path you vish to take eventually. Perhaps zhe flow vill carry you in zhey right direction, hm.
Louis only nods mutely and doesn’t press the subject of how useful (or in some cases, not useful) medical treatment could be. There were other ways that she was aware of, but in the end it was proven that death was better for some people if there was nothing she could do for them. Promising and giving false hope based on her own optimism wasn’t the wisest thing for the still young medic to do and she’d found that out only months ago. Now that the subject has been brought back up and she thinks about it the realization that this particular incident happened nearly a year ago hits her.
She goes quite, barely following along in the conversation on respawn and only nodding to show that she was listening. Her hand that had been gently stroking the ball of fur in her lap had ceased moving. Her face takes on an odd expression. If one were to put a word to it the closet thing would be sadness that threatened to push over into anger. Her eyes were almost teary while her mouth was set in a hard line, but not in response to anything the RED was saying or doing.
The strangeness passes when the subject of Noah comes back up. Louis liked to consider the older BLU and his (suspected) partner friends of hers and being all frowny and angry looking was difficult when talking about people she got along with. “No, he’s been fine. Usually he’s bringing in an injured Spy and stuff like that, but otherwise…” She shrugs. “Yeah, I can see the nose matching now that you mention it.” Louis wonders at their parents, whether they both took after their different fathers or if one of them took after their mother.
With the subject moving on from genes and phenotypes Louis follows suit. “I think right and wrong is just subjective, in some cases.” She thinks about a possible example of that idea, but comes up with none. “What’s right and wrong morally is pretty clean cut, but the right and wrong choices about life decisions is kind of complicated to figure out.” Not petting a kitty when it was in your lap was wrong in both instances so Louis resumes stroking along the kitten’s back.
*The sudden shift in mood is rather noticeable to the RED, but he doesn’t comment on it, able to deduce rather easily that the subject held unpleasant memories for his fellow Medic. His own feelings on the matter were somewhat complicated, not he himself would like to discuss either, so allowing a somewhat stiff, understanding silence pass between them seemed like the most suitable action at this point. Of course he had lost patients before, had to sit back and not be able to do anything to ease their suffering, but it was always different when it became a more personal matter. Ironically, the stress came more from the living than the dead in his situation.*
*While Michael and his elder brother might not always get along, it was a much more jubilant topic to discuss, the meaningful silence soon forgotten.* Ah, gut, gut. I know he can be a bit of a handful at times. I take it zhat means he is getting along vith ozhers vell? *It was a bit of a subtle way of asking if Noah had succeeded in making any friends, since the last time the two siblings talked Noah appeared better at getting into fights rather than actually getting along with his peers. Deep down, it made Michael worry.* He doesn’t talk to me much, you see. Zhough he doesn’t shut me out as much as he used to, so I suppose zhat is somezhing. *In terms of genetics, Noah got most of his looks from his father, while Michael mostly took after their mother.*
*Following the conversation, the older doctor gives a simple hum of consideration as he leans back in his seat, tapping his fingers through the fluff of white on his lap.* Ja, very true. In a vay, zhat is vhat I meant, I suppose. I do not zhink ve can label such decisions so black und vhite. No matter vhat path ve choose, zhere are going to be bumps along zhe vay. It is simply up to us to look over zhose bumps in order to find zhe goal zhat ve are looking for. If zhat makes sense. *Michael wasn’t very good with this philosophic stuff, generally sticking to the logical side of conversations.*
“Yeah, I kind of wish I’d known that, or at least thought something along those lines about death, sooner.” There’s a hint of bitterness in her tone, rather than sorrow or any reaction that would seem normal for the conversation they were having on the matter of death. She glances down at the ball of fur in her lap and gently pets and scratched behind the kitten’s ears, trying to forget the rush of memories that threatened to reemerge and create a lot of unnecessary problems for her.
Respawn was an interesting topic to discuss for a number of reasons. Mostly because not everyone knew or really understood how it worked. “Respawn’s interesting and I don’t mean good interesting, I mean convenient and curious interesting.” The concept of immortality wasn’t foreign to Louis, but the idea of coming back to the exact state of existence after dying was fascinating on its own, as the few undead people she knew had still been alive when turned. Coming back from death to life was something she’d consider for other conversations in the future. “How and why it works would be nice to know, but as long as it keeps people alive…” She shrugs as she trails off and leaves it at that. “Delaying battles is probably the best course of action. I do wonder how long it will take to get it back up and running.”
A look of surprise crosses her face. “Oh! I’ve met him. I really wouldn’t have guessed you two were related.” Louis looks up from the cat and examines the RED’s face, searching for some trace of resemblance between the two men. “Are you two half siblings or is one of you adopted…? …If you don’t mind me asking.” She was curious, but didn’t want to pry too much if it was a sensitive subject or something he was uncomfortable with talking about with someone he’d only recently met. “It doesn’t seem like the Administrator is too involved in things much anymore.” In general the way things were run these days seemed more lax and unstructured.
“I was kind of relieved to find out that I wouldn’t have to worry about that much longer.” She still had enough money left over to leave the Industries and probably go a while without needing a job. Still, in spite of that fact, she didn’t like the idea of sitting idly while people were sick and dying in the world. Maybe that was a part of her current problem, healing people who could easily come back to life while others in the world suffered. “I think…its most likely indecisiveness. At this point in life I feel conflicted about what I want and…” She trails off again and sighs. She liked her profession, the medical part, not the mercenary part. That and the duality of the world (worlds?) she lived in left a lot of conflict.
“Have you ever been at a crossroads where things could go either way and been too afraid to commit to one decision?” Life at the castle with vampires and all manner of magical beings? Most of which didn’t seem particularly fond of Louis, save for one. Or a normal, human life with normal, ordinary things like mortgage payments, work and a family? “I think I’ve reached that point in life.”
It is a hard zhing to come to terms vith for anyvone, especially to zhose of us vhom have spent our entire lives trying to save zhat of ozher’s, only to hit vall, so to speak, vhen ve are no longer able to do anyzhing. *His own tone is rather straightforward, a tad soft, yet a bit more apathetic than previous. Though it does leave him curious as to why Louis seemed rather bitter about the subject, though of course he wouldn’t pry on where this resentment lay. Michael had is own issues with the topic, and since he’d rather not discuss why it bothered himself, he wouldn’t dig into personal information for a woman he barely knew.*
*Respawn in itself was a huge step forward in the constant struggle a Medic had to face when it came to keep his colleagues, and himself, alive. The idea of death no longer being a permanent state did help a bit, especially when it came to the difficult mortal decision on who to heal first. After all, it wasn’t like they would be able to help everyone, not quickly anyway, and that often led those without a hardened conscience ridden with survivor’s guilt. With respawn, however, he has been able to stand back and watch a teammate be swallowed in flames while tending o his own wounds without batting an eyelash.*
True. It vould be razher interesting to know vhat exactly possessed zhey ability to construct zhe same person out of thin air moments after his or her death. At least it has not put us Medic out of business, or at least not yet. *There’s a pause as he considers this, absentmindedly running a finger fingers through the white fur in his lap.* Ah, so you have? I hope he has not been too much trouble. *At the mention of them not looking alike, he simply nods.* Ja, so you noticed. Ve are half-siblings. Same Mutter. Und I do not mind. Many are razher surprised to find ve are related, considering. *In terms of genetics, there wasn’t much the two siblings actually shared, not physically anyway, though they both seemed to have a somewhat defined crooked nose which had been passed down by their shared mother.* It vould appear so. Much different from how mein Bruder used to describe it, years ago.
*That was something Michael could understand, both the freedom from loans and not wanting to sit back while other people suffered. Despite his cool demeanor he did become a doctor for a reason, wanting to help people whenever possible.* I see. I suppose ve all have, honestly. *Advice wasn’t really the older Medic’s strong suit, though he felt he should at least attempt to add something more than just empathy to his statement.* Sometimes it’s not about choosing zhe right or wrong path, zhough. Such zhings don’t actually exist.